A Clean Slate

It is a new year, filled with promises of something better, hope for self-improvement, and a desire for the world to be a better place. Along with everyone else, I want 2007 to be the year I finally do all the things I have dreamed of doing but have never actually made the effort to accomplish.

I have grand goals for myself:

1. Learn to play the guitar.
2. Write a Bible study.
3. Lose 30 pounds – and keep it off!
4. Read the Bible all the way through.

All of these goals are attainable if I keep one thing in mind: Take one step at a time. One year from now I want to look back say: Wow! Did I do all that? Allright!!

During my spiritual retreat, the Lord impressed upon me that, before I can accomplish any of these goals, I have to do something even bigger. I need to forgive. I have to admit I was a bit surprised at this. Forgiveness is not something that has been a great difficulty for me in the past. At least, that is what I thought. What I have realized is it is very easy for me to forgive the small stuff: Friends forgetting to do something they said they would do, someone cutting me off on the freeway, or even a thoughtless comment tossed my way are things I not only forgive right away, I really do forget them. The fact that I am at least mildly ADD probably helps me forgive and forget these small events. What the Lord pointed out to me is that I do not forgive the BIG stuff even a little bit. What I tend to do is push it down and not think about it. I tell myself it is forgiven, but it is obvious I haven’t when I am faced with interacting with people who have deeply hurt me in some way. I am polite, but I share nothing of myself with them. I have placed a wall between them and me. Of course, when I have enough of those walls around me, I end up imprisoning myself inside walls of my own design.

I cannot grow closer to God and do those things I believe He wants me to do with those walls of unforgiveness surrounding me. Each portion of those walls doesn’t just separate me from those I choose not to forgive; they separate me from my Savior, as well.

Matthew 6:14-15 clearly tells us that we are forgiven as we forgive. How egotistical and selfish of me to expect God to forgive my sins – the sins that nailed Jesus to a cross – when I won’t forgive the relatively minor actions of others that really did nothing to me but hurt my feelings.

Yet, even so, it is difficult to forgive others, especially when they don’t express remorse for what they have done. Even the disciples struggled with this concept. In Luke 17:3-5, Jesus tells them to forgive even if the person wrongs you seven times a day and asks forgiveness each time. The disciples' response? “Show us how to increase our faith!”

Forgiveness is one of the greatest acts of faith in which Christians can participate. Think about it: We are basically letting someone off the hook without any concrete promise that justice will ever be served. We are saying, “God, this offense has hurt me deeply, but you are in charge of justice, so I am taking this offense and placing it in your care. I trust you to handle it in whatever way you choose.” It is not saying what the offender did is OK, but it is giving up our rights to mete out the punishment we believe they deserve.

Trusting God and letting go of past hurts is the first step to a new beginning. Of course, you may have experienced hurts that seem impossible to forgive. Some offenses others commit against innocent children and adults are beyond my scope of comprehension. What I know is God is just and trustworthy. He defends the innocent and the defenseless in his way and in his time. If you would like to hear wise counsel from someone who has been there, check out this CD/Bible study by Beth Moore, Hope Encounter: For survivors of childhood abuse and those who love them. I love what Mrs. Moore put in the description of this study: Forgiveness does not make what happened ok. It makes YOU ok.

I pray the Lord blesses each of you as you seek Him in this coming year.