Said to me after morning worship yesterday:"Well...you certainly were getting into it up there this morning."
It is difficult to communicate tone in the written word, but trust me when I say this comment was not a compliment.
In the interest of full disclosure, I was definitely worshipping God to my utmost as I was helping to lead vocal worship. I am reading a bit of Tozer and couldn't help myself! Then, during Sunday school, we discussed the temptation of Christ in the desert and I was overwhelmed by God's provision for us. To put His son through 40 days of such difficulty at least in part so he'd know what we feel like when we're tempted...well, I just don't know how to respond to that except to worship. We started singing "Days of Elijah," "All Hail the Power," "We Fall Down," and "Here I am to Worship," and I couldn't sing to anyone but my LORD. Since I tend to talk with my hands, my hands were up, down and all around as I told Him I was there solely to worship and bow down to Him, to acknowledge His power and appreciate His provision for us.
Looking back, it may have been a little much for a conservative Baptist congregation to take. I may have to take the advice of a fellow Baptist worshipper who said to me once, "We have to choose our moments." Worshipping my Savior should not become a spectacle and a distraction to worship for others. After all, leading in worship is a different thing from private worship, isn't it? Striking a balance between authentic corporate worship and personal praise is definitely an art form. Plus, worship isn't only raising hands in praise, it is also bending our knees in humility and prayer. I am a work in progress. Thanks for your patience!
4 comments:
Oh my. I follow your thoughts, but I still sting for you about the criticism received, probably because it resonates for me. There's nothing more hurtful than putting your heart and soul into something and then having someone slap you down for it.
Fortunately, there is more than one venue in which to worship wholeheartedly....
Thanks, Ginger, for understanding. After thinking it over more today, I am actually glad it happened. My "job" as a leader in vocal worship is to encourage others to open up and worship a little more freely. If my outward behavior becomes a distraction, I may be keeping someone from joining in worship themselves.
Sometimes we have to lead in baby steps.
I'll go bananas in worship in other venues, just as you mentioned. God is good to give us many outlets for worship. I have GOT to get busy learning how to play my guitar. That would give me a great way to use my hands during worship! Until then, I'll keep raising them, just not so forcefully.
"if i'm going to sing like someone else,
then i don't need to sing at all."
~ Billy Holiday
:D LOL.
I struggled where you for a long time. Unfortunately, a lot of people still associate the raising of hands with some supernatural state of spiritual connection to God or something...a "charasmatic 'out there'" thing.
I think that our authenticity and realness, and sharing why we do it, often helps people to relax and realize it's not a super-spiritual state, but a simple act of worship and surrender.
Even as our body has become more free, I've had to explain this several times.
I think that most people who are so easily distracted were probably not worshipping, but observing and judging anyway.
Stepping out is making yourself both a model and a target. Be strong enough to take it, even as you walk the line of sensitivity.
Blessings and prayers!
Maggie
OOH, Maggie! Using my favorite quote against me, I see!
Well, :-D Back at ya!
I get the point. I'll keep singing like myself!
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