Christmas Rant 2007

I didn't intend to make this an annual event, but since I ranted last year, it appears to have become a tradition. Sorry in advance, but I simply can't keep this inside. I know those of you who read this would NEVER be involved in any of these activities. This is a safe place for me to let out steam. Better here than in the middle of Sears, right? Here goes.

All-Christmas-music-all-of-the-time radio should not begin until December. Playing any Christmas tunes before Thanksgiving should be a punishable offense. Have mercy. If someone will start a petition to ban Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You" altogether, I'll sign. Twice.

To those of you who think the mall parking lot is your personal race track: You people need to get a grip and possibly some medical intervention. Slow down!!

To those of you who think driving to the mall and waiting for a parking space is a great excuse to have your "quiet time:" It isn't. Pay attention or get out of the way!!

Some parenting advice: Begging is not acceptable under ANY circumstance. You're whiny kids are driving the rest of us nuts. If they're tired, take them home. If that's the way they've learned to ask for things, some adjustments need to be made. Allowing them to argue with you in the middle of Target is out of line. Here is one of the most important rules in our family (my kids can recite it in their sleep): Don't Embarrass Mom in Public! It works for us; give it a try.

Once you have negotiated the checkout line and reached the register, shopping is OVER. Sorting through your shopping cart, making the checkout person (and those of us in line behind you) wait while you continue to shop is inconsiderate. Here's a novel idea: Wait to get in line until you have made your final purchase decisions.

Save the Santa hats for the week before Christmas. I beg you.

Done.

A REAL Man?

link: Romance Novels search for "Real Men" for book covers

Where on earth do I begin??! There is so much wrong with this that I am not sure how to address this, but for some reason I am compelled to comment.

The article basically states that middle aged women don't like seeing young, studly, way too skinny men on their kissing books because they aren't what middle aged women desire. They want to see older men who have a little more meat on their bones so they have a more realistic image to drool over as they fantasize about making out with a strange man. And the publishers are going to do everything they can to please their reader base.

Problem #1: Why on earth are grown women reading this tripe?! I would like to think we have better things to do with our brains than pine away over some non-existent man who always says and does exactly what we want them to in every situation. And, for those of us who are married, how on earth does this benefit our marriage??? There is absolutely no way a real man could measure up to a fictionalized version of "ultimate male-ness". And, by the way, no fake man would ever measure up to a real one in the slightest. The former only has to be charming for about 120 pages, the latter must love you, exactly as you are in the real world, for the rest of your lives. Why would you compare the real thing to a one-dimensional caricature of a man?

Besides, if your man was spending his leisure time drooling through the pages of playboy, I'm guessing you wouldn't be all that thrilled. Well, men are visual and women are relational. They get their porn from pictures and we get ours from the written word! We will never measure up to airbrushed images of pouty-lipped 20-year-olds and our husbands will never measure up to some pretend guy who can save you from a burning building, fight off the bad guy and rub your feet with lavender oil...all at the same time. Grow up! This is inappropriate reading material for a woman who wants to nurture her marriage. If you are not married, it is even more inappropriate because they will poison your mind about what marriage really is.

One guy who was auditioning for the role of cover guy accidentally stumbled on the truth. He said, "From what I understand, (Harlequin) readers are women who want to escape from the relationship that they're in," said auditioner Carlos Troccoli, 30, who was tall, sturdy and muscular. "I can bring that to them."

If that doesn't make your skin crawl, I don't know what will. How embarrassing to know even these air-headed models get it and middle-aged women don't.

Problem #2: When they say they are looking for "Real Men" for their covers, they do not mean REAL MEN. If women were satisfied with their fellas, they wouldn't be grabbing these dime store novels off the shelf in the first place. They are simply looking for slightly older, slightly heaver, yet still self-involved men. Honestly, do you know a REAL MAN who would even consider allowing his likeness on one of those books? The whole concept is a lie.

We all have desires and longings. It is part of us. Those desires will never be fulfilled by reading a few paragraphs about some sweaty sailor. Yes, it might distract you from your real world stuff for awhile, but when the book is over you will still have your same home, your same husband and your same troubles. If you want real change in your life, look to the One who made you and knows exactly what will fulfill you. What He offers is life-giving, joy-producing, and chain-freeing.

His name is Jesus and he already loves you exactly as you are right now. He wants to bless you AND your marriage! Dump those trashy books and start spending your time reading words that will draw you closer to your mate, not further away.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

My Letter to the NFL

It's been stamped and mailed. Thought I'd share:

Dear National Football League,

After becoming aware of your organization’s policy regarding who can and cannot gather to enjoy your “Superbowl” program in front of a large screen television, I felt compelled to respond. While I respect your corporation’s right to preserve your legal copyright and any income that might be generated from it, I am disappointed in your methods.

I am aware that you pride yourself on being an organization that supports communities and encourages children to reach their full potential. Although those are admirable statements, I question whether your restrictive game viewing policy contradicts your purported values. The ultimate NFL event is arguably the Superbowl, yet your policy effectively places a barrier between your big game and the people you say you want to encourage. For children to see the Superbowl on a big screen, yelling and screaming with their friends and family, they would have to spend the day in a bar. Is that the message you want to send?

I am beginning to wonder if you might not have some sort of “arrangement” with certain beer manufacturers. They are major advertisers in every NFL televised event. If I, a simple woman from Bakersfield, am beginning to question where your true loyalties lie – the kids or the beer companies- I suspect the rest of America might be growing a bit concerned as well.

It would be a generous, kid-friendly, gesture if you made an exception to your “no big screen” policy for church and civic organizations who won’t be showing your game for profit, at least not the financial profit your organization seems to be concerned about. They are interested in showing it to profit the spirits and souls of the people attending. You say you want to make this country a better place. Do you, really? If so, set your desire for profits aside and let these kids enjoy the energy and celebration surrounding the Superbowl without having to be surrounded by the cursing and drinking associated with the establishments you have allowed to display your programming.

Thank you for your attention in this matter.

Shame on the NFL

link: NFL forces Church to cancel viewing of the Big Game

"The NFL is telling Fall Creek Baptist Church in Indianapolis that the church's plans to use a wall projector to show the game at a party for church members and guests would violate copyright laws."

Yes, BARS can display the game on a big screen, but churches can't. Yes, a BAR can make money selling food and alcohol to people who come to their establishment to watch the game, but churches can't even ask everyone to chip in five bucks to pay for snacks. Yes, a BAR can capitalize on having all those people in their BAR by promoting future events at said BAR, but a church can't invite people to come to church - or even mention Jesus - during the game.

As a result, you can go to a BAR to watch the game, but you can't go to church and enjoy it with your family.

Now, I think I have been very clear about my opinion regarding football; I don't like it, I don't care about it, if it was wiped off the face of the earth I probably wouldn't even notice.

That said, being so restrictive about who can display a television program on a big screen really ticks me off. Are we still living in America? Now the NFL has spies checking on what we are watching and how big our TV screen is? If I were an NFL fan, which I am not, and my family wanted to enjoy the game on a large screen surrounded by friends, I guess I would have to take them to a BAR.

The NFL is a family supportive organization? I think not. NFL officers, do your mothers know about this? If you were my kids, I'd be embarassed to claim you as my own. When you value the almighty dollar over supporting family togetherness, someone screwed up somewhere.

Oh, and the cowards have no direct email address. The only email contact I can find is for tech support for their website and to arrange to give them buckets of money to host some sort of sports party for you and your friends. Family friendly...right.

I did find their snail mail address:

National Football League

280 Park Avenue

New York, NY 10017

It is too late to help the Fall Creek Baptist Church with a letter-writing campaign, but maybe a few impassioned letters would encourage the NFL to rethink their policy before the game next year.

Get this: You can't use the word "Superbo**" in anything. It's copyrighted and they'll come after you. Welcome to America, land of the obsessively posessive and home of the litigious.

Shame on you, NFL.