I've been quiet for the last few days. Sunday I received some news that is difficult to hear and to accept. A short while ago, I mentioned the spiritual struggle I went through after the loss of a young boy in my church family. Sunday, I found out that his 8-year-old cousin has just been diagnosed with cancer in one eye. She has already lost her sight in that eye and has begun radiation therapy this week.
I don't know what to do.
I want to pray, believing 100% for the miracle I KNOW God can provide. What I also know with 100% certainty, however, is God does not always provide that miracle.
This family is very close and went through every step of treatment together until that precious little boy went home to Jesus 3 years ago. They live in the same community, so they will now be revisiting all of those places together as they support this little girl as she undergoes treatment. I can't even begin to imagine what they must be feeling right now. I was only a third-party onlooker/prayer partner the last time and it brought my faith to my knees.
I long for the time Isaiah talked about:
They will not work in vain,
and their children will not be doomed to misfortune.
For they are people blessed by the Lord,
and their children, too, will be blessed.
- Isaiah 65:23 (NLT)
I don't know how to pray. I love my Lord so much, but I don't trust Him to answer. At least, I don't trust Him to answer the way I want Him to. I accept that He is sovereign, but I don't like it.
Oh, Lord, help my untrusting heart. I love you, Lord. I know you love Taylor more than I can imagine. She needs a touch from you. You know my heart, Father. I want the miraculous. I want Taylor to have a testimony of healing to share for the rest of her long, healthy life. I want Taylor's family to be able to believe you are a God of miracles. They already know you are a God of provision. You saw them through a very tough time once before. They need you even more now. I don't know their hearts, but I suspect they are all very afraid for Taylor right now. They've seen the worst that can happen. Please, Lord, show them the best that can happen. Give them a reason to hope. Give me a reason to hope. You are a God who can sustain us through anything that comes our way. I know that. This time, can you be our Father who heals? Rain down on us, Abba. We need you. Taylor needs you. This family needs their Dad. I need my Dad. Be that for us I pray. Amen.
2 comments:
That's a tough one.
I find myself broadening my scope of healing...for this child was ultimately healed, just not in the place we preferred.
It is hard to surrender our plans to God's. It is hard to think that sometimes hardship is his best plan for us, and for children.
But, he is a merciful God, so that math HAS to compute.
I find myself adding things like, "Lord, work your most merciful plan. Be God. Be real. Show yourself present and mighty to this family. Do huge things."
I do pray for healing, but it seems so many times he uses it in ways beyond my understanding or ability to even think or pray.
Thanks, Maggie.
He is a merciful God. I'll hold on to that and ask him to do something BIG in this family.
Thanks for the help. Blessings.
Post a Comment